RoslynReynolds.com

We Need A Little Christmas

Saturday, December 26th, 2009 | Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss, The Power of a Positive Outlook, The healing power of Faith in Christ | No Comments

The song from the Broadway musical “Mame” encourages us to haul out the holly, put up the tree, fill the stockings and hang some tinsel. The reason? Because we “need a little music, need a little laughter, need a little singing ringing through the rafter, we need a little snappy “happy ever after”; we need a little Christmas now.”

What is it about Christmas that makes that “Happy ever after” feeling materialize in our hearts?

On Christmas Eve as we stood around the piano singing carols, I realized once again that it is not because of the tinsel, the holly, or the stockings. The Christmas tree has nothing to do with “Happy ever after”. But there could be no “Happy ever after” if it weren’t for “God’s own Son, the salvation of the world begun[2]. . .”

“The choirs of angels sang at the glory of the sight”, and “the bells of Heaven rang, all through the night”, because it was truly “Love that was sent from above to the earth.” Without that Love – our Savior and Redeemer – our ‘ever afters’ would be dismal and without purpose.

His coming provided the way to “Happy ever after.” It was the greatest gift we ever will receive. As Neal A. Maxwell said, “God’s gifts, unlike seasonal gifts, are eternal and unperishable, constituting a continuing Christmas which is never over! These infinite gifts are made possible by the “infinite Atonement.”

That Christmas feeling in our hearts is hope. That little babe in the manger came to bring us release from the shackles of sin and sorrow, and to show us the path to purity and peace.

Yes, we all “need a little Christmas” – and we need it all year round.

Yours rejoicing in that hope,

Roslyn

Give Yourself a Gift!

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 | Building Self-Confidence, Death of a loved one, Grieving, Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss | No Comments

On this, our third day of sharing ideas to help as we grieve through the holidays, my suggestion is to decide to give yourself a gift. It may seem silly at first—after all, you’ll know what it is, and there’s absolutely no element of surprise. What’s the purpose of taking the time to choose, purchase, wrap, and place a gift under the tree – from you?

This is much more than just “taking care of number one”. Cheryl Richardson, in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care says, “When we care for ourselves deeply and deliberately, we naturally begin to care for others – our families, our friends, and the world – in a healthier and more effective way.”

When we are grieving, we need to learn to be gentle with ourselves, and to treat ourselves with great care. Choosing a gift for ourselves is a genuine response to the admonition from Luke 10:27 to love “thy neighbor as thyself.” Clearly, we are to love our neighbors well. So it follows that we must love ourselves well also, and this idea of choosing something special for a gift is a tender way to show that love.

It need not be something tangible. There could be something you’ve wanted to change in your life, something that will make a difference in each day, and you may choose to commit now to make that change. Write it down; put it in a box, and wrap it up. Each time you see that gift under the tree, think of the way your life will improve as you make that change.

I’ve chosen my gift this year. I am going to wrap it tonight and place it under the tree. When the children are sorting through the gifts (do they do that at your house?) and they ask, “Hey, what’s this – “From Mom to Mom???” I’ll just smile.

Do something that will bring a smile to your face – give yourself a gift!

Reach Out!

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 | Friends, Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss | No Comments

We are working our way through the holidays, finding ways to deal with our grief and still find some light in the Christmas season.

Today’s tip is to reach out. Find someone you can talk to, someone who understands what you’re going through, and visit with them. Talking to someone who has grieved before can be especially helpful, because they know what it’s like.

I remember once in my grief sharing something I was feeling with a young friend, and seeing a look of concern enter her eyes. I quickly thought back over what I had said, and realized, “she thinks I’m crazy!” What I had said would sound that way to someone who didn’t understand grief first-hand. I tried to back-peddle, and explain, but it came out clumsily. I knew she loved me and wanted to help, but it was difficult for her to relate.

Those who’ve walked this path can listen and be a sounding-board without judging or becoming overly concerned. Sometimes all we need is to be able to talk things out, and to be heard. As we speak, things sometimes iron themselves out.

Share what helps you each get through hard times, and you’ll both come away stronger.

I have found that finding someone to talk to can make all the difference. So, for today – reach out! You just might find the boost that will help you go  through one more day with a greater degree of peace than you have found before. I pray that is the case!

-Roslyn

Surviving the Holidays While Grieving

Sunday, December 13th, 2009 | Death of a loved one, Grieving, Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss, The Power of a Positive Outlook | No Comments

The house lights are twinkling, Christmas trees glimmer out of every front window, and joyous music fills the air, but your heart seems immune to the joy. As much as you want to, you can’t feel the happiness this season used to bring. All you feel is–alone.

For many others, this time of year is the brightest, most exciting and joyful time of the year.  For one who has lost a loved one, the holidays can be one of the darkest times of the year.

As we mourn during the holidays, what can we do to lessen the pain, and to increase our ability to feel peace in this, the Season of Peace?

For the next few days I will share things others have done to survive the holidays while they are mourning the loss of their loved one.

Today, our task is to be kind to ourselves! Realize it is normal not to feel the excitement and joy we used to feel. It is okay not to want to join in all the celebrations, and to feel like pulling back into the safe cocoon of isolation if it is overwhelming to step out just yet.

Allow yourself to grieve. Know that there will be years ahead when you welcome the opportunity to go out and mix with humanity again.

If there are things you do want to do, go ahead! Don’t worry about what others will say, or about what may happen while you are out – just go with a prayer and a willing heart, and allow yourself to feel the happiness in the air. Know that it’s okay to feel that! I remember the first time after the funeral that I laughed, and how I caught myself thinking, “You shouldn’t be laughing. You’re mourning.” Then I realized how absurd that thought was. Yes, I was mourning, but I was also living, and it was okay to laugh, or cry, or feel whatever living life invited me to feel.

So, for today, accept the fact that because you are grieving, the holidays will be different. And that’s okay. Accept whatever joy steals into your heart with gratitude. Think on the birth of the only One who truly knows your heart, and feel gratitude for the peace that only He can bring.

As you draw near to Him, and see evidence of His love, record it in your journal. And in the years ahead, may this Christmas be one that you will remember with tenderness, and with the realization that you were not alone. He is with us, always.

Toward your healing,

Roslyn