RoslynReynolds.com

Another Widow

Posted On Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Under: Friends, Grieving, Healing after Loss

Lonely days; nights filled with sorrow.

A dull ache in the heart that never seems to ease.

“If only…” thoughts playing repeatedly in the mind, haunting the memory and threatening to destroy the rare moments of peace.

I remember those days, early in my grief. Whenever I hear of another woman losing her husband, I can’t help but offer a prayer I know cannot truly be answered: “Oh, please spare her those painful days.”

I heard a few days ago that another dear friend lost her husband in a terrible accident. The moment I heard, I thought, “Oh, no. Not her.”

She is generous; she is patient, she is soft-spoken and kind. She is ever thinking of others, and doing things for those around her is what brings her the greatest joy. She loves God, and the way she lives her life makes that very evident.

She is everything good. She has raised a beautiful family; created a home that is welcoming and filled with beauty; grown a garden that evokes a feeling of peace and solitude – a place to find oneness with the Creator.

Over the years as we’ve raised our families, whenever we’ve visited, she has expressed love and concerns for her children, hoping and praying that they will each find the greatest happiness possible in life. As we spoke of husbands, her love for her sweetheart was always evident, and I marveled that two so seemingly perfect people had found each other and had been blessed with such a loving family.

Family has been the motivating factor in all she has done. In the past few years, now with an ‘empty nest’, she and her husband were getting ready to spend the next years serving their family and an ever-widening circle of friends, together.

Now, together isn’t an option.

The funeral is today, and I am thousands of miles away. I long to be there, to take her in my arms and tell her that I ache for her, and that I will be there in any way that she needs. I want to help, but there is so little I can do.

What can I do?

I can let her know of my love for her. I can tell her I will be praying for her. My children and I know that those prayers have great power. We felt them in the days following my husband’s death.

I can be a listening ear, for whatever she needs to say. I remember there were some things I only dared say to another widow, for fear of being misunderstood, and judged wrongly by one who hadn’t experienced what I was going through.

I can pray to be aware of her needs, and I can offer friendship and companionship when the loneliness becomes unbearable.

And I can remind her that, although she may often feel alone, she is never truly on her own. There is always One she can turn to, who will never leave her comfortless. Widows are among those He is most concerned about, and he tells His people to “honour widows”, and reminds them that “pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction…”

Another widow. Oh, how I wish I could erase this event from her life. But I cannot.

How I wish I could ease her pain. I cannot do that either. But I know One who can. And I will pray, fervently, that He will.

I love you, dear friend. May you feel Him near you in your time of distress.

-Roslyn

Tags: Add new tag, Death of a loved one, Sudden loss

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