RoslynReynolds.com

Surviving the Holidays While Grieving

Posted On Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Under: Death of a loved one, Grieving, Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss, The Power of a Positive Outlook

The house lights are twinkling, Christmas trees glimmer out of every front window, and joyous music fills the air, but your heart seems immune to the joy. As much as you want to, you can’t feel the happiness this season used to bring. All you feel is–alone.

For many others, this time of year is the brightest, most exciting and joyful time of the year.  For one who has lost a loved one, the holidays can be one of the darkest times of the year.

As we mourn during the holidays, what can we do to lessen the pain, and to increase our ability to feel peace in this, the Season of Peace?

For the next few days I will share things others have done to survive the holidays while they are mourning the loss of their loved one.

Today, our task is to be kind to ourselves! Realize it is normal not to feel the excitement and joy we used to feel. It is okay not to want to join in all the celebrations, and to feel like pulling back into the safe cocoon of isolation if it is overwhelming to step out just yet.

Allow yourself to grieve. Know that there will be years ahead when you welcome the opportunity to go out and mix with humanity again.

If there are things you do want to do, go ahead! Don’t worry about what others will say, or about what may happen while you are out – just go with a prayer and a willing heart, and allow yourself to feel the happiness in the air. Know that it’s okay to feel that! I remember the first time after the funeral that I laughed, and how I caught myself thinking, “You shouldn’t be laughing. You’re mourning.” Then I realized how absurd that thought was. Yes, I was mourning, but I was also living, and it was okay to laugh, or cry, or feel whatever living life invited me to feel.

So, for today, accept the fact that because you are grieving, the holidays will be different. And that’s okay. Accept whatever joy steals into your heart with gratitude. Think on the birth of the only One who truly knows your heart, and feel gratitude for the peace that only He can bring.

As you draw near to Him, and see evidence of His love, record it in your journal. And in the years ahead, may this Christmas be one that you will remember with tenderness, and with the realization that you were not alone. He is with us, always.

Toward your healing,

Roslyn

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