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Ease the Pain

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Grieving, Healing after Loss, Help for Widows, The Power of a Positive Outlook, Unshaken Faith in Trials | No Comments

Ease the Pain
Have you felt it – the aching in your chest that seems to pull at every heart-string, and the thoughts of inadequacy that come flooding into your mind, and, though you shake your head, you can’t shake them? Do memories of tragedy and sorrow fill your mind unbidden?
I felt it tonight. I have been trying to hard to keep a positive attitude, to believe in miracles, and to have faith that, even though I can’t see it now, God has a plan full of success and joy for me. I have written affirmations and hopeful, positive goal statements and I repeat them frequently.
But sometimes those negative thoughts are persistent, and the pain settles in.
What then?
As I felt it happening this evening, I was walking past my CD player. I reached down and pushed the “Play” button, and soon I heard the strains of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing, “For the Beauty of the Earth.”
I knew it would work. Something about beautiful music, paired with inspired words, can drive out the darkness and bring back my hope.
“For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale and tree and flower,
Sun and moon and stars of light.
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our joyful hymn of praise.”

Leslie Householder, author of the books The Jack Rabbit Factor and Portal to Genius says that when we reach our low points, the very best attitude to adopt is one of gratitude. Nothing invites inspiration and goodness, hope and success into our lives like gratitude.
That song always fills me with gratitude – and tonight, by the time the singing was finished, the pain had lessened. My mind was filled with images of the beauties of creation, and I realized, once again, that no matter what problems are threatening my peace, I do have much to be grateful for.
I silently gave thanks to my Creator for the beauties He surrounds us with, for dear friends and family, and for all things that testify of His great love for us. I know He is aware of me and sends help for my challenges – and, truly, I see evidence of His love in so many ways every day. I was humbled – and felt to repent of my short-sightedness. He is there. He will provide the way. I need only believe.
“For each perfect gift of Thine
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of heav’n,
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This our joyful hymn of praise.”

Go Take a Walk!

Saturday, January 16th, 2010 | Grieving, Healing after Loss, Health and Grieving, The Power of a Positive Outlook | No Comments

I was visiting with a prominent family counselor in our area the other day, and when the subject of discouragement and depression came up, he said,

“You know, my friend is a medical doctor. He sees an inordinate number of women who come asking to be treated for depression. He recommends exercise – which is his preferred prescription; but most often the women choose medication.”

“He said he felt that 80% of the medications he prescribes could be eliminated with regular exercise. There is just no good substitute for the emotional lift that exercise brings.”

Eighty percent! Does that shock you the way it did me?

That number was incredible to me. I studied anti-depressants one semester years ago, and became very wary of them. I know several people dealing with the difficult side effects of various anti-depressants. I am aware of the financial burden those medications create. When I dealt with depression several years ago those considerations caused me to seek out alternatives, and my findings concurred with the medical doctor’s advice – exercise is vitally important to driving out the blues.

I am a hopeless romantic. I love the lifestyle depicted in the Jane Austen books: living in cottages or mansions out in the country; reading, visiting, and performing music for one another for entertainment; and the daily “constitutional.” That long walk was taken consistently, in winter as well as in summer, and I believe that type of habit is needed no less in our lives – probably more due to the extra stresses we face.

Exercise helps the body create endorphins, those mood-lifting hormones, and the more often we exercise the better we can feel. Personally, I want that effect daily!

Next time you have a blue day – or several in a row, try exercise. My favorite combination is exercise while listening to the scriptures, a motivational speaker, or beautiful music. Those two activities together are sure to lift my spirits, and invigorate me for whatever lies ahead for me that day.

80%? My head is still reeling. I pray more of us women will listen to that doctor – and go take a walk!

Make Your List!

Friday, January 8th, 2010 | Death of a loved one, Friends, Healing after Loss, The Power of a Positive Outlook | No Comments

The other night my sister, her husband and two youngest children joined us for a Family Night activity. At the end of the evening, her husband asked me, “Is there anything I can do to help you? Are there any projects you need help with?”

It’s always been hard for me to accept help. I love being independent, and I hate to feel like I am imposing on others to take care of me.

But, in the last four years since my husband died, I have learned that, simply put, I am not independent! I can’t do it all. That has been a hard lesson to learn. To survive, I need to accept others’ offers for help.

I have come to appreciate offers to help, because the number of things needing attention only grows larger with each month. Each time I walk past an un-done task, I am reminded of my inability to do everything and it can lead to discouragement. An offer to complete that task is literally a load off my mind.

So when my brother-in-law asked that question, I was ashamed to realize that I haven’t taken my own advice: I tell those who are now alone to keep a running list of things in their home that are broken, wearing out, or in need of repair. Not only does it help us remember when we are out running errands if there are things we need to purchase to make the repair, but there may come a time, like last night, when someone has a few extra minutes and offers to help complete one of those repairs.

If you let them help, don’t think you receive the only benefit – it blesses them, too.

People want to help. They feel good when they have made a difference for good in someone’s life. If we never let others do something for us, we deny them that blessing.
The counsel “it is more blessed to give than receive” presupposes someone has to receive! Perhaps now is our time to fill that role. Think also of the times we are counseled to “receive with meekness”, and to “receive with thanksgiving”.

I have to keep reminding myself of that. My independent spirit wants to say, “Oh, no, I’m fine – thanks anyway.” But it is a lie. I need other people. I need help!

It took awhile to think of them, but I finally came up with two projects. He completed one last night, and the other one is scheduled. But I’ve learned my lesson. I now have a running list in my daily planner of needed repairs and projects. Next time I’ll be ready!

That day may come for you, too – so, pull out a pencil, grab your planner – and make your list!

Clean Up Your Messes!

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Goals, Healing after Loss, Principles of Wealth, The Power of a Positive Outlook, You can make a difference! | No Comments

January is all about fresh starts and new beginnings. Our family traditionally meets in the living room on the first Monday of the year to set goals together and to discuss what we would like to see happen in the upcoming months. Tonight was that night, and my sister’s family joined us for the event.

I shared how I had recently read Aaron Raymond’s book Double Your Income Doing What You Love, where he gives some suggestions for setting goals for improvement. In our goal-setting session tonight, we discussed four of them, one of which I will address here:

Choose to clean up one mess each month.

Aaron says, “Each mess is a lock on the gate that keeps abundance out.” I found that fascinating – and then I read the following paragraph:

“Messes rob you of vitality. Messes teach you that you cannot handle tasks . . . Messes make you cringe. Messes make you apologize to others. Messes diminish you. Messes do not merely belittle you; they actually have a major impact on your financial well-being.”

I believe he is right. Right now if I think about several areas of my home, I do cringe, because there are messes calling out to me, waiting to be addressed.

Aaron suggests considering messes in the following areas:

Your car; your clothes closet; your desktop; your files; your desk drawers; your garage; your basement; your tools; your taxes; your paperwork; your computer; your last will and testament, even your key chain!

I would add: your kitchen drawers; your cupboards; your laundry room; your fruit room; your storage closets and hidden areas. That room or closet that, when you’re not sure where to put something, you open the door, throw it in, and slam the door closed. (Yes, I really did used to have a room like that!)

He says, “The more messes, the more locks on the gate that keep abundance out.” But then he promises: “Every mess you eliminate, no matter how small, brings relief of enormous proportions.”

I want that relief! I am going to follow his suggestion, and every month this year I am going to tackle one of my messes.

In the Bible, Job talks of a “land of darkness . . . without any order . . .” I feel that darkness when I consider the messes in my life. 1 Corinthians 14:40 counsels us, “Let all things be done decently and in order.”

I feel so much better when things are “done decently and in order.” I just haven’t made it a priority – until now. One mess a month – I can do that! And just think how much more light - and abundance – will come into my life!

Join me – we can do it together. Invite abundance; reject darkness: Go clean up a mess!

A New Year!

Friday, January 1st, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Grieving during the Holidays, Healing after Loss, Overcoming Disappointment, The Power of a Positive Outlook, The healing power of Faith in Christ | No Comments

New beginnings.

Fresh starts.

Anticipation.

Hope!

I love the New Year.

New beginnings are vital to me. Even each new morning gives me hope because the day is yet unstained by discouragement or weariness. In the morning, I feel almost anything is possible! As our family kneels each morning in prayer, one thought often expressed is, “ . . . we are thankful for another day to live.” And truly, we are grateful for the chance to try again to be what we hope to be, and to do what we hope to do.

By the end of the day, the reality of what I didn’t accomplish can make me feel discouraged and overwhelmed if I allow it to. By the end of each year, when I evaluate what I have done and compare it with what I hoped to accomplish, it can make my heart lose hope.

But the New Year is full of hope. It reminds me that life keeps going, and I can too. It is another chance to learn, to grow, to find peace and to give love. It is a time to dream big, to think about possibilities and to believe in miracles.

So now, on January 1, 2010, what do I feel today?

Confidence that God is aware of my plight, and is watching over me, and will provide the way.

Assurance that if I keep doing my best, dedicating each day and each task to Him, He will continue to carry me, just as he has before. I will not be alone as I move through this New Year.

I love the book of John in the Bible. Christ’s words fill its pages, and today as I contemplate this upcoming year, I find great hope in verse 18:

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”

May you have that same assurance. As you ponder the things you would like to do, and as you dare to hope and dream, remember Matthew 19:26: “ . . . with God all things are possible.”

Read Mark 9:23: “ . . . all things are possible to him that believeth.”

“All things . . .” Aren’t those beautiful words? We just have to believe.

It is a day of new beginnings, fresh starts, and anticipation. Our Redeemer stands ready to help us heal and help us to reach for our dreams.

May you feel Him near, and may His nearness bring you everlasting Hope.

To the future!

-Roslyn