RoslynReynolds.com

A String of Beads

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 | Death of a loved one, Friends, Grieving, Healing after Loss, Healing from grief, Help for Widows, Losing a Spouse, Personal Care while Grieving, Service, The Healing Power of Service | No Comments

I saw it as I passed the piano—the string of white beads she had borrowed to wear to church yesterday, and my heart ached.

I just drove her to the airport an hour ago to catch her plane back to Washington, DC, and now there is a tangible absence in our home.

It seems like ever since Marty died, the children and I are a little more tender about absence from each other. We crave togetherness, and we dislike separation.

Maybe it is because we have felt the pain of loss, and we want to cherish every moment together possible. Shakespeare’s Juliet says, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” I have yet to find the sweetness there.

When those who live away from home come visit, their presence lights up our home, and gives us all something more to smile about.

When they leave, we feel like a light has gone out and our hearts are heavy. We have to start in on a project, put in some cheerful music, or, on difficult days, curl up in the chair with a warm blanket and retreat into a great book for awhile to lessen the hurt.

Today, I can tell I need to look outside myself, beyond the pain in my heart, and seek to do something that will brighten someone else’s day.

I’m going to get dressed, put on fresh makeup, and go visit someone. Maybe I’ll even wear those beads.

Hoping for your healing,

Roslyn

Snow Again?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Death of a loved one, Grieving, Healing after Loss, Healing from grief, Help for Widows, Losing a Spouse, Overcoming Disappointment, Personal Care while Grieving, The Power of a Positive Outlook | No Comments

Friday was a beautiful early Spring day. The bitter chill had left the air, and the sun was shining brightly. As I drove around to do my errands, I noticed many people out in their yards, sweeping the gutters out, raking dead leaves from the flower beds, and pruning trees and bushes. It felt like Spring was just around the corner, and I felt so happy!

The next morning, we awoke to cloudy skies, which, within the hour produced snow. By late this afternoon, it was still lightly snowing. It felt like we were headed back into the dark, cold days of Winter, and I felt that darkness creeping into my home.

I turned on the lamps, put in some of my favorite music, and started making some comfort food. That day it was Curried Lentil Soup*, and the aroma of the basil and curry steaming through the kitchen cheered me and helped me realize that the snow outside really is trivial – and temporary.

It reminded me of the days when I wake up in a dark, cloudy emotional state, and how I have come to realize I need to have some emotional ‘comfort food’ to lift me – certain music I listen to; designated books to read; light and fresh air – to buoy up my spirits.

Do you have your list of emotional ‘comfort foods’ ready in case of stormy weather? When we are grieving, it is essential to have a way to ward off discouragement and depression before they settle in our soul.

In my book (SOLO – Getting It All Together When You Find Yourself Alone) I suggest several ideas to keep handy so that as soon as you sense that darkness begin to invade your soul, you can drive it away.

Begin your list today – and be prepared!

-Roslyn

*for recipe, email me at author@roslynreynolds.com

Thursday, March 11th, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Death of a loved one, Goals, Grieving, Healing from grief, Help for Widows, Losing a Spouse, Personal Care while Grieving, The Power of a Positive Outlook, Womanly Arts | No Comments

Thursday, March 11th, 2010 | Building Self-Confidence, Death of a loved one, Goals, Grieving, Healing from grief, Help for Widows, Losing a Spouse, Personal Care while Grieving, The Power of a Positive Outlook, Womanly Arts | No Comments