RoslynReynolds.com

Make Your List!

Posted On Friday, January 8th, 2010

Under: Death of a loved one, Friends, Healing after Loss, The Power of a Positive Outlook

The other night my sister, her husband and two youngest children joined us for a Family Night activity. At the end of the evening, her husband asked me, “Is there anything I can do to help you? Are there any projects you need help with?”

It’s always been hard for me to accept help. I love being independent, and I hate to feel like I am imposing on others to take care of me.

But, in the last four years since my husband died, I have learned that, simply put, I am not independent! I can’t do it all. That has been a hard lesson to learn. To survive, I need to accept others’ offers for help.

I have come to appreciate offers to help, because the number of things needing attention only grows larger with each month. Each time I walk past an un-done task, I am reminded of my inability to do everything and it can lead to discouragement. An offer to complete that task is literally a load off my mind.

So when my brother-in-law asked that question, I was ashamed to realize that I haven’t taken my own advice: I tell those who are now alone to keep a running list of things in their home that are broken, wearing out, or in need of repair. Not only does it help us remember when we are out running errands if there are things we need to purchase to make the repair, but there may come a time, like last night, when someone has a few extra minutes and offers to help complete one of those repairs.

If you let them help, don’t think you receive the only benefit – it blesses them, too.

People want to help. They feel good when they have made a difference for good in someone’s life. If we never let others do something for us, we deny them that blessing.
The counsel “it is more blessed to give than receive” presupposes someone has to receive! Perhaps now is our time to fill that role. Think also of the times we are counseled to “receive with meekness”, and to “receive with thanksgiving”.

I have to keep reminding myself of that. My independent spirit wants to say, “Oh, no, I’m fine – thanks anyway.” But it is a lie. I need other people. I need help!

It took awhile to think of them, but I finally came up with two projects. He completed one last night, and the other one is scheduled. But I’ve learned my lesson. I now have a running list in my daily planner of needed repairs and projects. Next time I’ll be ready!

That day may come for you, too – so, pull out a pencil, grab your planner – and make your list!

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