RoslynReynolds.com

Without Even Thinking…

Posted On Monday, February 1st, 2010

Under: Grieving, Healing after Loss, Help for Widows, Systems, Womanly Arts

Last night my daughter was ill during the night. I was up with her for a while, and after she had finally fallen back to sleep, I dropped back into bed myself. As I was drifting off to sleep I thought, “It’s Monday – supposed to change the sheets today – I’ll be so tired in the morning, I’ll just let it wait until Tuesday. Then I can sleep for a few more minutes before I have to get up.” It seemed like a great idea, and I smiled as I snuggled back into the warm blankets for a few more hours of sleep.

This morning when I finally crawled out of bed, I found myself, without even thinking, automatically stripping off the sheets. I marveled that even though I’d consciously decided not to do it, habit was taking over, and within a few minutes the task was done.

I discovered the beauty of systems in the early months after my husband’s death. Most days I just wanted to sleep – but nothing went well the days I gave in to that desire. I knew the children needed me up and functioning, and I knew if I just got the basics covered, the vital things would be taken care of, and life would be better for all of us.

So over time I searched for and adopted systems to cover those tasks – meals, basic housekeeping, laundry, and finances, to start with, and as I learned to be consistent with them, I found that those systems began to function without my having to focus on them. Once they became habit, it was hard not to do them!

As you’re moving through the grief process, if you find things in your home and life collapsing all around you, try implementing some systems. One by one, things will begin to fall into place, peace will reign again, and it will all happen….

without even thinking!

Yours for healing,

Roslyn

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